I woke up sick of Thailand.
Last night's ex-pat Halloween party made me feel old: haphazard costumes, awkward dancing, small talk about NGOs. When did I become this kind of grown up? When did I grow up at all?
They are clearing the lot beside our apartment. When we moved in, this was all green.
Looking at the pool from our balcony gives me vertigo, like I am about to jump in.
Today I am sick of going for coffee and reading the Bangkok Post.
I am sick of pretty Thai girls.
And wanting to buy things.
Even the market, with its color and bounty.
Today I crave familiarity, the often mundane nature of that other life. But I know if I were there I would be wishing for the foreign and new, the openness of the life I have now.