Saturday, November 1, 2008

Today

I woke up sick of Thailand.


Last night's ex-pat Halloween party made me feel old: haphazard costumes, awkward dancing, small talk about NGOs. When did I become this kind of grown up? When did I grow up at all?


They are clearing the lot beside our apartment. When we moved in, this was all green.


Looking at the pool from our balcony gives me vertigo, like I am about to jump in.


Today I am sick of going for coffee and reading the Bangkok Post.


I am sick of pretty Thai girls.


And wanting to buy things.


Even the market, with its color and bounty.


Today I crave familiarity, the often mundane nature of that other life. But I know if I were there I would be wishing for the foreign and new, the openness of the life I have now.

4 comments:

Jocelyn M. Berger said...

Ah, yes indeed, and herein lies the exact paradox of our sometimes exotic, sometimes normal lives. But I'm willing to bet that if you moved to San Francisco (!!!), you'd find a better balance of mundanity and openness. This post and the pommelo one are so revealing and beautiful and bittersweet. Aww.

Mon said...

Hey Tobey, thanks for stopping by.

Sounds like there's a large emotional barrier between you and Thailand (or whatever it represents for you). Sounds tough.

Have any fiction up for perusal?

Sara said...

I was in Thailand around 2 years ago and the thing I missed was american food...food is such a part of culture!

Anna said...

I really like reading your picture stories. I've never been to Thailand and wonder what it's like to live there. Thank you for posting them.

The longest I've been out of the U.S. was two months so I haven't gotten to that stage of culture shock ever. Hopefully it will pass.